http://www.myfoxwausau.com/dpp/news/wausau/Soldier_Funeral3076
...and so he sat, this evening warm and centered on the metaled door ajar from the flames and pondered... that he be somber in his breath, a brother to death, laid resting this day and howling moonward for if only the echoes to hear, that you are missed. Your strength a burden now left...to all those left yet to serve in your stead, he howls and rests...and cries to exhale again, steadfast, strong and remembered, SGT Ryan Adams to which his honor, I now serve~
Your brother,
SGT Benjamin Tatrow
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Language of an Earth...yet to be~
Everything on this earth, from the stones, to the people, from the animals to the very molecules we breathe have no worth, other than that which "we the people" place upon them~ It is high time to once again in our history as a species redefine that which we label as priceless....for life and love are no longer there~
While it is understood within the company of those that may come to read this, that my above thoughts are completely false and can be proven so by the heart and works of good people...
...today we bury...
...that which could have easily been saved, if the hearts of mankind, did not burn of fire~
And so I invite all that find themselves enlightened in heart or of troubled spirit to speak with me now, to speak with one another and let a new language arise...so that it may be embodied, among those around us all.
Benjamin Twig
While it is understood within the company of those that may come to read this, that my above thoughts are completely false and can be proven so by the heart and works of good people...
...today we bury...
...that which could have easily been saved, if the hearts of mankind, did not burn of fire~
And so I invite all that find themselves enlightened in heart or of troubled spirit to speak with me now, to speak with one another and let a new language arise...so that it may be embodied, among those around us all.
Benjamin Twig
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Too many wounded to count accurately...
Thirty Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Two
http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/ops/iraq_casualties.htm
Thirty One Thousand Four Hundred and Sixty Three
http://antiwar.com/casualties/
An article about Department of Defense Figures with no totals
http://www.boston.com/news/world/articles/2004/01/07/us_wound...
I am ashamed of an America that fights over, what is a fact to be a broken health care system...
For while you read this another wounded serviceman or woman is being unattended to at one of this countries "prime and splendid" VA hospitals or being denied coverage because the heart attack they thought they were having was just arrhythmia. Do you know what a $2500 emergency room bill looks like to a disabled Veteran who doesn't make that in two months?
It looks like a great big huge middle finger from all the people that hang ribbons on their trees and slap bumper stickers on their hummers but give disabled Veterans decent health care? "Fuck you"
Well guess what, my fellow Americans....that is exactly what the American Veteran is getting for their sacrifice, which is pretty much what everyone else is getting....unless you have money~
BenTwig
http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/ops/iraq_casualties.htm
Thirty One Thousand Four Hundred and Sixty Three
http://antiwar.com/casualties/
An article about Department of Defense Figures with no totals
http://www.boston.com/news/world/articles/2004/01/07/us_wound...
I am ashamed of an America that fights over, what is a fact to be a broken health care system...
For while you read this another wounded serviceman or woman is being unattended to at one of this countries "prime and splendid" VA hospitals or being denied coverage because the heart attack they thought they were having was just arrhythmia. Do you know what a $2500 emergency room bill looks like to a disabled Veteran who doesn't make that in two months?
It looks like a great big huge middle finger from all the people that hang ribbons on their trees and slap bumper stickers on their hummers but give disabled Veterans decent health care? "Fuck you"
Well guess what, my fellow Americans....that is exactly what the American Veteran is getting for their sacrifice, which is pretty much what everyone else is getting....unless you have money~
BenTwig
Monday, August 17, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
BenTwig's Tire...

I am tired, worn and weary from having to suffer the Department of Veterans Affairs and all the excuses from all my elected officials about how...that's just how "the system" works or how I wasn't the only one sufferingor that my problem had been forwarded.
As much as I know, that I am not the only one that suffers in this day and age of our world and country, it is with love and my family in my eyes that I call upon my fellow citizen governors, to do their job!!! Stop wasting the people's time and lives by telling us what you are GONNA do just to get the job...and start sweatting your brows in work and toil! And just so it is clear, worrying about how to keep your elected position of service...IS NOT WORKING!! Your SERVICE should be required as a soldier's is...with your ego, personal ambition and wallet...checked at the door!!!
Do you know that I actually had a Mr. Hearns from the Department of Communications and Case Management for the VA tell me as to why I couldn't file a request to find out why my benefits were cut in half and as to why they were once again restarting a thorough investigation into my 13 inches of medical records to see if I was disabled or not due to service? ...when I was discharged with an 80% disability rating due to service connected injuries in 2002 ...and now two major reconstructive surgeries, 7 years and the loss of use, of my right arm not to mention a bulging disk in my back and a knee in need of replacing soon, later...he tells me and I quote verbatim, "You can't have your cake and eat it too!"
You see the truth is that the reason he couldn't help me really isn't because he didn't care, which maybe he didn't, but regardless it could not be done simply because that file I mentioned earlier, the one that is about 13 inches high by 10 inches wide by 12 inches long...can't be in two places at the same time, so I had to basically choose...whether I would like to find out why they stopped paying me my disability compensation or why they were once again checking my fused shoulder to see if it was still fused, cause ya know those nerve paralysis, steel rods and wires around the ribcage, boned grafted shoulder-blade to the chest wall cases have such a tendency to just up and revert back to a time 9 years and 8 surgeries ago...like a miracle or something.
I apologize for the cynicism but as I have already advised you...I am tired!
BenTwig
Do you know that I actually had a Mr. Hearns from the Department of Communications and Case Management for the VA tell me as to why I couldn't file a request to find out why my benefits were cut in half and as to why they were once again restarting a thorough investigation into my 13 inches of medical records to see if I was disabled or not due to service? ...when I was discharged with an 80% disability rating due to service connected injuries in 2002 ...and now two major reconstructive surgeries, 7 years and the loss of use, of my right arm not to mention a bulging disk in my back and a knee in need of replacing soon, later...he tells me and I quote verbatim, "You can't have your cake and eat it too!"
You see the truth is that the reason he couldn't help me really isn't because he didn't care, which maybe he didn't, but regardless it could not be done simply because that file I mentioned earlier, the one that is about 13 inches high by 10 inches wide by 12 inches long...can't be in two places at the same time, so I had to basically choose...whether I would like to find out why they stopped paying me my disability compensation or why they were once again checking my fused shoulder to see if it was still fused, cause ya know those nerve paralysis, steel rods and wires around the ribcage, boned grafted shoulder-blade to the chest wall cases have such a tendency to just up and revert back to a time 9 years and 8 surgeries ago...like a miracle or something.
I apologize for the cynicism but as I have already advised you...I am tired!
BenTwig
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Nice to meet you!
Here for me: http://www.sodahead.com/blog/43970/i-searched-bentwig-in-the-add-image-and-this-is-me/
BenTwig,
Here for me: http://www.sodahead.com/blog/43970/i-searched-bentwig-in-the-add-image-and-this-is-me/
BenTwig,
The Right There...
We as a people, as a race of beings, must at all times, look at any situation, as how can we apply ouselves to others that would have them reconstruct their own beliefs into our own and cause them no harm, for it is harmony that the goal is set.
That being said I know Ive changed within my life, so I know it is POSSIBLE and for our success, to be a success, it will have to be because peace became popular and what does popular do to people.........it makes people "change their minds" <----in huge quotation marks(Huge Ones)!
Everything is possible to see with the light shining there! Not left! Not right! Just there!
We have to shine our light on the right there not the wrong now!
BenTwig
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
BenTwig Revolves a Resolution...

The end of a year; the passing of a day, a week or so of writing the wrong year on forms and checks and here we are once again friends... I am glad to see you! I have been thinking for some time now of what I would write for my "New Year's" blog and from the swings of somber condolences for those lost, to the joys of new friends and new places, I found only hope! A hope that is distinct! A hope that is tangible and a hope that is needed within us all....that it be peace that guides us and love that binds us, for it is those good things that we resolve within ourselves to accomplish upon this earth that hold us most closest to eachother in our resolutions for new beginnings, for new years and in new times! We need these good things and I HOPE they find each of us well! ...and so BenTwig Revolves a Resolve...
The Resolution
Resolving the resolution is a very simple solution! Held together by the dedication and concetration on the anticipation of the distribution of the words and thoughts from the man who wrote the emanicipation proclamation publication, inaugoration and the qualification, mobilization and progression of the brain infection's obsession with greed's attention while the reorganization, redefinition and direction of education as a nation stands in stagnation waiting for a authorization documentation stating the regulation and classification of our occuption as a human nation cannot, at this juction, be a determination... ...though it should give us caution... ... to our station atop the pyramid of our position to turn off the television and look around at man's expression of degradation so that it may give us hope....that the resolution we make this year be a standardization of devotion, progression, conservation, liberation, constitution legislation and above all togetherness as an American Nation, standing against this economic manipulation situation with a simple solution...
...a resolution of comprehension; hope's formation!
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BenTwig Bakes a Cake...

Hello everyone! I would like to take this opportunity to pass along a very heart-felt Happy Holidays to all that may come to visit. No matter your religion, nor matter of your beliefs, nor matter in which you celebrate this most spiritual of times within our year, I hope it finds you all well with the embrace and warmth of good tidings! May peace be within you and may blessings of love fall upon your heart!
That being said, I am so happy that you have come to visit this day as I am so happy to be amongst the words and memories of my friends. The holidays are always a time a year for me that brings a little bit of every emotion to my minds eye. From the sadness of loved ones and friends that I can no longer share in their company to the absolute joy of remembering a time's past where the laughters and joys flush my face warm to think amongst family and friends sharing their own view and voice. I hope this blog will be a place of peace and joy and a wonder to behold, that though we face hard times our hearts are full, our souls remember and our eyes see that there is always and forever, more hope and love in this world than can ever be taken away. ...and so, BenTwig bakes a cake...
The Spices of Life
Life is nothing more than a vision of hope upon which rests an intangible feeling, dreadful or euphoric once touched. Grandma always had a way with words that would make a young boy of five cringe, but now later in my life and Grandma passed, I look back and remember. I always thought, then, that dreadful and euphoric were spices in her spice closet and I find truth in that while I have never found a spice so named, I certainly found them there.
The spice closet, gently tucked into a wall adjacent the refrigerator, was more than just shelves of enhanced flavor or a place for the cast iron skillets hide, hanging from there brass captures alerting all to an entry; it was an escape. Whether it was from reality or just a scalding summer day, it always had a welcoming glow to my eye, while almost any visitor could overlook it as just a door to nothing. Its ordinary wooden facade with forty years of peeling varnish stained, as if breaking out of a cocoon gave no sign of the vibrant life that lay within it. Only the brass doorknob shining brightly, seemingly always beaconing my gaze, worn around its edges gave any notice that the closet what used at all. It would be on may occasions when neighbors would stop my Grandma's house, where I could be found sitting in the spice closet's doorway, in one or two feet of shadow, rearranging the little shakers of life.
The shakers themselves, being of no mountainous importance to anyone else, found such excitement in my mind. It was if peering out from a rainbow, all other things skewed by its colorful aroma to my eyes and sniffs-a-plenty. There was cinnamon, in its glass bottle, seemingly towering over all the others. Its red cap atop an emerald green wrapper, as if a rose on a stem without thorns would always find it way into my hands and a place amongst the shelves worthy of a king's pedestal. Perched idly by may lay peppermint, which was my favorite, my clown to the king's gaze. Not for its sweet taste, but that it was the smallest shaker and I could hide it anywhere amongst the rest. The candy treats it brought to mind made finding it on my next visit, as if it were the punch line to every joke, for it was always well met with a giggle. Then there was the apple pie spice with its label of brilliant red and cap of brown crust. When opened it would overtake all my senses and cause a case of drooling any hungry dog would have to appreciate and if found with the ginger, just slightly taller in stature whose color reminded me of the tail of our collie glistening in the sun, heaven would find me well, within these moments of my youth. These spices were to my child's eye all that was good within the world, they were my euphoria.
Spices of another sort, neither so pleasurable nor alluring, could be found, well placed, tucked lower on the shelves than the rest. Not that they be weak of flavor, only that their scent brought no happiness to my nose and mind. It was in these bottle that I found my dreadful. From Cumin, with its odor that brought visions of stuffing a skunk into such a small container, to basil which no matter that argument my Grandmother would present, my opinion was firmly placed in that basil should be completely absent from anything edible. The texture alone was as if chewing peeled paint taken from the side of a chicken coop. Finding the basil meant finding all things bad to me and at times, mistaking it for peppermint for they sharing the same alluring colored bottles, I would grab the basil only to have it shatter my expectations with one sniff of the pungent weed. Thus I learned that sometimes, the label has nothing to do with what is on the inside. How true this has been to my life from leftovers in the fridge to people that have crossed my path.
So in closing and in remembrance of a time that brings sweet memories to my mind I wish you all the very best of spices of life, which ever ones that may be to you. Life is a series of difficulties, victories and triumphs. As in all spices they give our lives flavor and meaning. Organizing the spices in Grandma's spice closet taught me to keep the sweet and pleasurable ones closest to my heart. Let Cumin and Basil handle reality, while one only needs to close their eyes and reach, to find peppermint and apple pie!
Merry Christmas, Bless the Winter Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Peace on Earth and Good Will 2008,
Benjamin Twig
BenTwig Waves a Flag...
Thank you once again for this visit. Today, I would like the opportunity to talk about something that, we as Americans, at times take for granted. That one thing that within our Stars and Stripes, within our hearts and minds, binds us together in a common purpose and gives us strength through honor... ...and so, BenTwig waves a flag...
Freedom Cries
Cry Freedom!
Freedom cannot be cried upon
no justice will follow.
Cry Freedom?
It cannot be expounded,
It cannot be screamed,
It can not be hailed,
only whimpered and whispered
in blood and pain!
Cry Freedom!
Freedom cannot be cried upon you,
no justice will follow...
...only when the crushing degradation of injustice holds its deathly final grip upon the throat of reason, can freedom cry, freedom! And in so doing, unbind, unsheath and birth into the now and present a mother's protective wrath.
Cry freedom!
Through the womb and pain and blood; tears of one's own endured injustice is the right to be bestowed, whimpered words with meaning and righteousness of heaven on earth, is God returned to the light from the darkness of a prostituted and pandered faith, for freedom cannot be cried upon you, thus only leading to new shackles, in new places and times, then shadowed, flagged, set up right and proper, blinded, bound and deified as a justice that can not see, nor hear, no speak the truth upon the well abled hearing, not listening.
Freedom Cries!
And only through true tears can freedom, free justice and only in justice can true freedom be found. Let the flood come, for the gathering pools already linger upon the hands of man.
Let the flood come and let all those pandering to construct and damn, in earth and in spirit, the fate of others, be swept aside to part way through the sea and unseen walking poor and trodden upon layers about, wicked and sainted named alike, for they were passed by and stepped upon, so shall they embrace one another and rise above all, as the keepers, nay the children of freedom for the cry alike, in God's grace.
Let it come,
let it come,
in this world as in world's past.
Let it come!
Let it come!
"Freedom yet awaits!", cries freedom.
BenTwig © 2006
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These are the dreams of Freedom that wake me from my sleep and through the darkness see, that which is so named and yet is not so embodied!
"In body, shadow and soul we are only whole amongst earthly things and water; the body of our minds, the shadow of our knowledge, the soul of our choice and an ocean of possibilities!"
Thank you,
Benjamin Twig
BenTwig Rewinds America...

I hope you are well in the day that is now and with that being said it is this day that I wish to take a step back for a moment, to review, comment and remember the past eight years of our American lives. While I do not wish this blog to become a place where "President Bush" is the only thing discussed, I do realize that he must and should be a part of the conversation. May this be a venue where you can discuss your world and how the past eight years has changed the view of America from your eyes. I will be posting a series of thoughts that I have had over these years, some while I was in the Military and some not, and I will also be posting a letter I wrote to Senator Feingold in 2006. These are my thoughts and I ask for yours...and so BenTwig rewinds America...
Eight Years of Quoted Thoughts
"Bigotry is nothing more than a hatred supplied selfishness, born of one's own insecurities. Fanned by social and cultural ideologies, bigotry is but a child to nationalism."
"Let not your fear and biases disclaim truths that are clearly evident in the world around you. Hold strong to FREEDOM, JUSTICE and the AMERICAN WAY, for they are being guised before your widening eyes."
"The most frightening thing about "today's" America is the scarcity of unity as a people. In that, while most average Americans truly believe they hold different views than most others, the commonality of the human condition binds us all together within the grasp of survival, procreation and death. It is only in politics where we are divided by ambiguous ideologies and personal decisions that no one person can claim an all encompassing solution..........but when one side of that political spectrum attempt to make these ambiguities law, democracy is immediately veiled and hidden from the people's view insuring that division over unity is dominant."
"Power atop an understructure of deceit, exclaiming purity and righteousness, can not be explained away by simply defining it as hypocrisy. For never before in history has hypocrisy carried with it so much blood IN AMERICA! It is the false prophet. It is the unadulterated depravity of a few men's lust to have will over the world. The conquest of the new empire has begun and we are but pawns to the slaughter, unless we finally realize that WE ARE THE MASSES, WE ARE THE PEOPLE, WE ARE AMERICA and tell the world."
"Fear propagates profit in any capitalist Democracy where it is the dominant political tool. National Security is nothing more than the ATM of the new, post 9/11 world with only one percent of the population holding the pin number."
"Learning is never as much about just knowing something, but that the knowledge you have and its place in your own future is undeniably tied to a past that was never your own. We must take with us a great responsibility and an awareness of our own presence in the here and now for it will one day become another's past to learn and live."
"Everything in this country that is 'free' has already been paid for, including one's one will. The will to fight against oppression, within all its guises, is inherently birthed with freedom. Freedom without tolerance is fascism."
"The invisible and translucent line between the definitions of a terrorist and a patriot are being wiped away by an administration that either does not know the difference or does not care. For it is within both these groups that they find all the enemies against them. So I say let me be a terrorist against the terror for I am a patriot against a president that sees me as an enemy, for I love my country and constitution more than his power!"
"The one that needs torture defined, has never suffered a day in their life!!!!!"
BenTwig © 2001 - 2008
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Letter to Senator Feingold
Senator Feingold,
If this country, it's standing representatives and citizens alike, do not hold the President of these United States of America and his appointed representatives accountable for the transgressions made against the constitution and it's people; whether well intended or nay, then this standard of Government will not stand, it will not last and it begs the ultimate question of any Democracy and its people; that of, do we need another revolution to once again define what it means to be Free? For one could rightly say that a Government that performs it's duties without consent and in direct conflict with the motto, creed and will of the people is NOT a democracy. While to compromise is to be representatively democratic, we can not allow any compromise on the issue of responsibility, ever, whether Republican, Democrat or Independent, responsibility must be upheld as the cornerstone of our civilization. For to rule without question or fear of punishment is to be representative of ultimate power upon itself. Do not let this stand, for we are no longer united!
Benjamin T.
SGT, United States Army, Military Police, Retired, Disabled
Concerned Citizen of These United States © 2006
Let us remember so we may never forget,
Benjamin Twig
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BenTwig Levitates...

Thank you, once again for all that visit here and I find myself smiling in the choice of todays topic, for while we have been well met, talked of death and traveled the star of life, we have yet to laugh within each other's levity. I hope that this day and your visit here will bring a warmth and smile to your day, for while we live and for while we die, laughter transcends the heavens and stays dread's hand. and so BenTwig levitates...
Counting Sheep
One, two, three four five, How many bees are in a bee hive?
Six, seven, eight nine ten, I wonder how many bears can stay in one den?
Eleven, twelve, thirteen and fourteen, Yes please, just one more bean.
Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen and eighteen, I've seen a couple, how many has your date seen?
Nineteen, twenty, twenty one and two I didn't think I could rhyme this, did you?
Twenty three, four, five and twenty six Eat more pancakes, I have plenty of mix.
Twenty seven, eight, nine and thirty Isn't this getting, just a little bit wordy?
Thirty one, two, three and thirty four I think when I hit fifty my fingers will be sore.
Thirty five, six, seven and thirty eight If you think I'm done, then you better just wait.
Thirty nine, forty, forty one, two and three Am I almost done, I don't know, could be.
Forty four, five, six and forty seven When I die, I hope there is a heaven.
Forty eight, forty nine and finally fifty, Phew I am done, wasn't that nifty...
Fifty one Fifty two!!! Ha Ha, fooled you!
Fifty three, four, five and fifty six Throw gum on a wall and ya know, it sticks.
Fifty seven, eight, nine and sixty I have always hated iced tea.
Sixty one, two, three and sixty four Be careful when someone asks you to pour
Sixty five, six, seven and sixty eight Spill it in their lap and they tend to get irrate.
Sixty nine, seventy, seventy one and two We're not even close to being through.
Seventy three, seventy four and five I love jumping off the high dive.
Seventy six, seven, eight, nine, and eighty, This whole thing is getting quite weighty
Eighty one, But isn't it fun?
Eighty two, three, four, five and eighty six, To get to the center, it takes that many licks!!
Eighty seven, eight, nine and ninety, There always seems to be an owl in my pine tree.
Ninety one, two, three and four, Almost done, only six more.
Ninety five, six and ninety seven, Already used heaven, so I'll just say "Eleven"
Ninety eight, nine and at last ONE HUNDRED Do you have any idea of what you have just read...
If so, tell me later. I'm going to bed!
copyright 2000 All rights reserved
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am but a child, at all times, within the space and time that is existence and it is there I wish to remain and so...I love the word "boogers" and from time to time, when no one is looking, I pick them too....although once picked, they are actually called "boogies", the same way a meteoroid is called a meteorite when it flies within our atmosphere and much for the same reason...hee hee!!! ...and so I say let the boogies fly as we laugh our asses off when they land in our overbearing bosses coffee....(we say nothing)...and then he drinks it!!
Gross, yes...but well worth the outburst of uncontrollable laughter every time we see them drinking coffee!!
Have a wonderful day, my nose itches...
Benjamin Twig
BenTwig Sees a Star...

Thank you, once again, for all that come and, if only for a moment, leave a part of themselves within this space and time and it is with that in mind that we endeavor once more into a new conversation, that I hope you will join me within.
The past two postings have been, as was my intent, an introduction of who and whom I am and a calling to know who and whom you are. This next posting will be the trilogy of that intention as we look beyond our meeting and the thoughts of our suffering, to see the light in which makes us stronger... ...and so, BenTwig sees a star...
Whispers
The nature and universal law of all matter, is that at some point we as the people and them, as the trees, the birds, the earth, the very air we breath, were all one... ...one star, one spec of dust amongst and within the void of space, one drop of water, newly formed...two hydrogens and one oxygen, joining for the first time, parents to all life to come...and we were there. Your hydrogen to my oxygen, your water to my life we were there and that is the true form in which human nature or more so, all nature presents itself: a constant, every widening desire to join, mix and mingle in all things, to become new again, to long for and find connections within so many different realms of life and of this longing lies the pure truth of being, that one thing as they say, a truth that shatters ancient beliefs with whispers in dark corners where no one can hear but listen...that the meaning of life is life and no one person nor any one thing can satisfy life's pursuit to become more than its present self.
Through the entire, recorded, history of man, there have been many writings such as this, many whispers in the dark, many cries upon death's precipice or carved in a stone's epitaph...all saying the same thing... ...I am that I am... and if we were to only repeat it within our souls, within our teachings and understanding, it would be as if a new star was born within them, rays of light to the world it would spread and a million buildings would quake and shudder from our hatred's guilt, falling from our hands and hearts, to the earth that bore us and the seas that cradled us and we would embrace them once more within a gentler trod upon a gentler path and to the skies our glances and eyes would linger... longing to once again be... ...that spec in space!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is not without regard for the plagues and evil guises upon this earth, that "Whispers" was written but rather, in spite of them, for to answer the call for water with thoughts for rain is to deny our ability to actually get water, hee hee, so let this be a forum of bringing the bucket and our experiences of goodness within these lives we lead and let them stand as a testament in stone that though we may suffer, we triumph through love!
Thank you for visiting and may blessing find you,
Benjamin Twig
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
BenTwig Bows His Head...

The following will be a very personal, private and poignant part of what has come to influence who and whom I am and I invite you now to join me in a conversation of what it is to be human and suffer loss. ...and so BenTwig bows his head...
The Dirt from Bosnia
"Drowning in the chaos of a waveless ocean, the vast emptiness filling my breath with hopelessness, a sunken ship with no treasure, I fall because I see!" SGT B.J.T 1997
I have experienced death, been in its presence, in its shallow darkness. My eyes swollen in anguish, my breath gasping short, stuttered, a whisper of life, as the bodies of Bosnia filled yet another empty hole in the dirt, with the worms, the centipede, the beetle and my nose burnt with a stinging fire, my sinuses draining like tears from mother earth, whom unwillingly excepted them.
The burden so great, my ears winced with the crying screams from the loved ones left behind, down on their hands and knees, eye level with the dirt, where the grass fell away to sunken earth, searching, searching for a remembered face, a peice of clothing, a shoe......a child....and my soul wept in death's presence for I was beholden to its grasp upon my conscience, my myths, my illusions and my service to its cause, but no longer!
For though death still lingers, a heavy fog tearing life from sight in different places, in different ways...but still the same smell, same shrilling cries, same earth....only different faces in the pile and one more orphan of war to hold and whisper lies of being alright, while the truth is that life is weeping in our presence, tired, weak and worn from our obsession to dig holes in the dirt and fill them with our guilt, our biases, our differences and our hatred of that which is told us is our enemy!
It has been years since this specific day in my life and I, now back home, children and loved ones embraced, safe, secure, words with no armor, I carry the dirt from Bosnia within me, to bury my own suffering from death's presence, for I was unable to stop it....can you? Can I now? I pray, I love!
Benjamin Twig
BenTwig Takes a Leap...

I welcome all to a decision that I have been conflicted with making for some time now, that of, should I or shouldn't I publish my journal writings here amongst the tangled weaves and wonders of the blogisphere? Obviously I have decided in the affirmative but it is with great caution I begin this journey, as I have found that many of my writings challenge the status quo and can, at times, be in direct conflict with popular beliefs. I will warn those that subscribe themselves to be unchanging, that this may not be for you but I encourage all to participate within, what I hope will become, conversations that need conversing.
As this is my first post, I will extend to you that I expect a certain level of respect between individuals here, within the tattering knocks and knicks of my tree, but understand fully the sways and force of passionate discourse; I only remind all that though we may differ in beliefs, degradation and defamation are, at all times, in direct opposition to progression and peace.
Thank you so much and so it begins BenTwig's takes a leap...
The Introduction
Look though I be before you with clenched fists, gritting teeth and an unwavering stare upon thee, that my hands be empty, my words be passionate and my seeing eyes beyond that which confronts us. For it is within these moments that I wish us both to leave, either embraced in friendship or in a handshake signifying only one truth, that we continue on, to either encounter again or teach of a moments past, beyond our present company.
Look though my hands be empty, they hold all and nothing, as do yours, both to have and keep faithful unto themselves as they are onto others.
Look though my eyes close, they hold all and nothing, as do yours, both to have and keep faithful to see further than there is to be seen.
Look though my words be silenced, they hold all and nothing, as do yours, both to have and keep faithful the vigilance of civility and progress.
Look though I be seen, I see you as well and await your approach.
Thank you,
Benjamin Twig
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